This: “I wonder, if I were granted only one wish by the sunrise gods, would it be for a baby, or to wake up every morning watching the sun climb above a new horizon? Then I stop myself, because I’m afraid I’ll give the wrong answer.”
I think about this all the time. You’ve perfectly summed up the constant tension of standing at the cusp of something irreversible, where your life could go either way and each way comes with its own measure of joy and loss. ❤️
Yes! It’s so impossible. Are you still grappling with the parenthood question? I gathered from some of your writing that you had made peace with remaining childless, but I suppose the question lingers for as long as it is still an option.
Apr 13, 2023Liked by Liz Medford - lizexplores.com
Yes I had made peace with it, and then as I healed from my marriage (where it was out of the question) it opened up again. I have made peace with the fact it probably won’t be biological, but there’s a very active discussion about what role I want kids to play in my life. The pharmacist and I are breaking up at this very moment for this very reason. 😭
Oh goodness! Well I’m sorry to hear you two were incompatible in that regard (I was totally rooting for your meet-cute), but I’m excited for you exploring what comes next! And if you want to try for a biological child, there may still be time (am I remembering correctly that you’re a little younger than I am?). I wouldn’t recommend waiting any longer to explore that option, based on my experience. Ro.co sells an affordable at-home Modern Fertility test kit to give you insight into your hormone levels and likelihood of conceiving, if you’re curious. And a lot of women these days are doing donor-sperm IUI when they get tired of waiting for “Mr. Right.” I am probably way overstepping here, so please forgive me for that. There are many wonderful ways to bring children into your life, and I’m sure you’ve given thoughtful consideration to all of them. I only want to offer a gentle nudge to explore the possibility if it feels right to you, because in hindsight I wish I’d done so sooner.
Apr 14, 2023Liked by Liz Medford - lizexplores.com
Not at all, I wish I had explored it sooner too! I feel strongly that all women in their thirties who are even considering kids should be sat down and given a PSA with fertility charts. I got divorced at 38 and now I’m 41 and those years were critical ones, sigh. I’ve been to a clinic and have a solid sense of my options and odds on that front.
But first I’ve got some heavy emotional work to do on figuring out what I want in a partner and in a family, both kids of my own and someone else’s. And we’re leaving room for meet-cute season 2, but I know I need to get clear on what I want before meshing it with someone else.
Yes to the PSA! Divorce in your 30s presents a major fertility challenge. Mine happened at 33, and it took four years for me to meet my second husband, then several years for him to be ready to commit to marriage and kids, which meant starting the process at 40. I’m glad to hear you have the support you need, and perhaps our conversation here will be the PSA that someone else needs to hear!
This: “I wonder, if I were granted only one wish by the sunrise gods, would it be for a baby, or to wake up every morning watching the sun climb above a new horizon? Then I stop myself, because I’m afraid I’ll give the wrong answer.”
I think about this all the time. You’ve perfectly summed up the constant tension of standing at the cusp of something irreversible, where your life could go either way and each way comes with its own measure of joy and loss. ❤️
Yes! It’s so impossible. Are you still grappling with the parenthood question? I gathered from some of your writing that you had made peace with remaining childless, but I suppose the question lingers for as long as it is still an option.
Yes I had made peace with it, and then as I healed from my marriage (where it was out of the question) it opened up again. I have made peace with the fact it probably won’t be biological, but there’s a very active discussion about what role I want kids to play in my life. The pharmacist and I are breaking up at this very moment for this very reason. 😭
Oh goodness! Well I’m sorry to hear you two were incompatible in that regard (I was totally rooting for your meet-cute), but I’m excited for you exploring what comes next! And if you want to try for a biological child, there may still be time (am I remembering correctly that you’re a little younger than I am?). I wouldn’t recommend waiting any longer to explore that option, based on my experience. Ro.co sells an affordable at-home Modern Fertility test kit to give you insight into your hormone levels and likelihood of conceiving, if you’re curious. And a lot of women these days are doing donor-sperm IUI when they get tired of waiting for “Mr. Right.” I am probably way overstepping here, so please forgive me for that. There are many wonderful ways to bring children into your life, and I’m sure you’ve given thoughtful consideration to all of them. I only want to offer a gentle nudge to explore the possibility if it feels right to you, because in hindsight I wish I’d done so sooner.
Not at all, I wish I had explored it sooner too! I feel strongly that all women in their thirties who are even considering kids should be sat down and given a PSA with fertility charts. I got divorced at 38 and now I’m 41 and those years were critical ones, sigh. I’ve been to a clinic and have a solid sense of my options and odds on that front.
But first I’ve got some heavy emotional work to do on figuring out what I want in a partner and in a family, both kids of my own and someone else’s. And we’re leaving room for meet-cute season 2, but I know I need to get clear on what I want before meshing it with someone else.
Adulting! So challenging I tell you!
Yes to the PSA! Divorce in your 30s presents a major fertility challenge. Mine happened at 33, and it took four years for me to meet my second husband, then several years for him to be ready to commit to marriage and kids, which meant starting the process at 40. I’m glad to hear you have the support you need, and perhaps our conversation here will be the PSA that someone else needs to hear!